Love is not self seeking

In our recent podcast Curtis and I discuss the attributes of love as detailed in I Corinthians 134:-8. We spoke about the attribute that is our own glaring weakness. Mine is Love is not self-seeking.

At first glance within a marriage it would be easy to dismiss this characteristic of love. I mean we live together and have a joint checking account. We sit on the couch and watch Netflix. How could I be self-seeking in my marriage?

I have discovered that self-seeking rears its ugly head in so many ways. One way I have been self-seeking is my tendency to plan something for every minute of Curtis’ waking hours. I agree to outings before consulting with him. I engage in classes and seminars for us that he doesn’t truly get to say no to. I am self-seeking.

My thoughts, plans and ideas are the most important and I rarely consider the ramifications on Curtis. He spoke up not long ago and admitted, “I’m tired. We are constantly doing something.” And I heard him and I listened. I immediately canceled a few non-critical commitments. I rearranged some appointments to leave breathing room in our day. I stepped back and looked at how I had been strong-arming our calendar and I repented to him in sincere apology. It has breathed life into our relationship.

The take away for me is before I consider anything that would require Curtis’ time and energy or take me away from our time, I must base my decision on my love for my spouse. It has been a pivotal moment in our relationship, giving romance and tenderness the time it deserves.

Happy Honeymooning!

1 Corinthians 13:4-9a “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails!”